You may think you can just go in and explain the situation rationally but trying to do this always makes things worse for you. The system is simply not set up to see you and treat you like a human being. That is why it is imperative to secure competent, aggressive representation as early in the process as you can so you can at least have some semblance of peace of mind about the process.
The law is a daunting arena, which is why it is important to talk with an attorney with the skillset and compassion to see you through the process to a just conclusion.